In today's blog I wanted to discuss the tours, what they are and what they are not. We have been conducting singles tours for almost 18 years, resulting in thousands of marriages over the years. As a matter of fact, my own marriage (over 14 years ago) was a result of a Singles tour, if not for that Singles tour I would have never been lucky enough to meet my wife Tanya and be blessed with our wonderful two children.
But what really is a Singles tour? For those of you who have no idea and possibly have seen some of the crazy things that are out there about the subject, I will try and explain with the following FAQ's. One thing I would like to make clear is that fortunately or unfortunately anyone with a computer and an internet connection can post on a forum or put up a site. When doing your research look at the source and ask yourself what is the motivation of the person writing. All too often competitors or veiled competitors will attack companies with half-truths, exaggerations and lies, so it up to you the consumer to do your homework and if necessary call the company yourself and ask them specific questions, or better yet talk with their references first hand and try to gain an objective understanding of what the opportunity is really all about.
Am I guaranteed to meet my future wife if I take a Singles Tour? I think you already know the answer to that - of course it is impossible for any company to guarantee that you will meet the woman that you wish to spend the rest of your life with just because you take their tour. However, we do our best to give you every opportunity to meet as many women as possible giving you a much better chance of meeting that one special person than had you not taken the tour. We do that in a couple different ways, first with the socials where you will meet many women at one time and try and find those that present a mutual chemistry, as well as our staff working with you individually throughout your tour to introduce you to as many women as possible.
Are all the women serious about meeting someone for marriage? The women who join A Foreign Affair understand this is a very well-known and respected service for those who wish to meet someone for a serious relationship and marriage. The level of seriousness for each woman will depend partly on who she is meeting; obviously every woman is not going to be seriously interested in every man and vice versa. Given the number of marriages and relationships that have resulted over the years it is safe to say that the majority of men and women who attend the tours do have real intentions of meeting someone for a serious relationship.
Do the tours involve Sex Tourism? Absolutely not!
The dictionary defines Sex Tourism in the following way:
"Sex tourism is travel to engage in sexual activity, particularly with prostitutes".
So basically the women are paid participants to have sex with the men. Obviously anyone who has even taken even a cursory look at A Foreign Affair would know that we have absolutely nothing to do with Sex Tourism. All one has to do is look at all of the testimonials on the site, look at all the media who accompanied and televised the tours such as Nightline, WE TV, MTV, BBC, National Geographic, or the Oprah Winfrey Network, just to name a few. Watch any of those shows/documentaries and it is absolutely apparent that these are simply single men and women trying to find their special someone. You can also read any one of the dozens of articles written over the years by organizations such as The Washington Post, Sacramento Bee, TIME, the Philadelphia Inquirer, and more, as they describe what they experienced witnessing the tours. These are real, well-known journalists such as Lisa Ling and Bill Weir (among others) who were very impressed with the tours and how we operated them.
I have the utmost respect for the women who join our service and are truly in search of someone special. For anyone to even imply that these women are in any way part of some sex tour is not only insulting it is simply ludicrous. The service is an opportunity for single men and women to possibly meet that one special person with whom they can build a happy and rewarding life.
Will I meet all the women on my 'wish list"? Probably not. Keep in mind that AFA does not and never has paid the women for attending the socials or going out on dates with the men, it is totally up to the women if they decide to attend or not. That being said, our Socials are very well attended and there is a good possibility that you will be able to meet many of the women on your list either at the social or with the help of our office staff via one on one introductions. You must also remember that these women have busy lives themselves and just because we are there on a tour does not mean that their life comes to a halt, they still have to work, take care of family members, etc. etc. Our staff does work very hard to try and make as many introductions as possible, but it is possible that you may not have an opportunity to meet every women with whom you desire a meeting.
What if a woman tells me that she just came to the Social to practice her English, does it mean that she is not interested? Maybe, but probably not. When I met my wife at a Social she told me that she had a bad day and just wanted to be with her friends and drink champagne. I could have taken that to mean that she was not interested in meeting anyone, especially me, but I kept coming back and talking with her and she would smile and talk and after a while we decided we wanted to get to know each other much better and ultimately were married. These are proud women and as I always say I have a lot of respect that they are out there trying to meet different people and change their lives. They are not going to tell you that they came just to meet you and hope that you pick them, they may very well say things like they just were curious or came because a friend talked her into it, but the point is that she is there in front of you and you now have an opportunity to make something happen - or not, that choice is entirely up to you.
Isn't there a lot of competition among the men at the Socials? No, not really, actually it is the opposite. One of the pleasant unexpected outcomes of the tour is the relationships that you forge with the other men on the tour. You are all there basically for the same reason, to try and meet that one special person, so the men really help each other to succeed. They will even introduce other men to women they feel might be a good fit, and talk to each other about their dates and experiences. Many of the men forge lifelong friendships, start business together, even attend each other's marriages!
What is the success rate of the tours? That is difficult to quantify and also depends upon what you define as 'success". Some of the tours will yield a number of engagements with many going on to marriage, while other may not have any, it just really depends on the tour and the people involved. In my case I was not "engaged" to my wife when I first met her on the tour, but a year and a half later we were ultimately married. Many still consider the tour a success even if they do not meet the woman of their dreams. I have had many men tell me that the tour was the absolute best experience they ever had and even though they were not ready to marry anyone they met they still considered it a complete success!
When you think about it trying to find that one woman whom you desire to spend the rest of your life with is one of the most difficult and important tasks you will ever undertake. We do everything within our power to assist you in achieving that task, but it is not something that should be taken lightly or "settled" just because you are on the tour. It is a wonderful experience and a fantastic opportunity to meet a lot of potential candidates, experience a different culture, make life-long friends, and hopefully, meet that one special person and have a lot of fun along the way.
Do most of the women speak English and if not how difficult is the language barrier? The English speaking capability is somewhat a function of where you go. For example everyone in the Philippines speaks English to some extent, some will still need assistance but most can speak English at least to some extent. In most of the other areas that we go there will be a mix of women who can speak English to different degrees. Normally in the larger cities you will find more women who speak English. You would be wise not to base too much emphasis on whether or not she can speak English. If she possesses most of the other traits that you are searching for then you should at least attempt communication and see if she is willing to learn English.
What is an appropriate age difference that I should focus on during the tour? This is a very good yet very difficult question to answer. What makes it difficult is that no two people are the same at any given chronological age. We all know 50 year olds that look and act like 30 year olds and 40 year olds that look and act like 60 year olds� It is also noted that women in some other cultures can tend to be more mature and sometimes seek older men for marriage.
So what is the rule, where should the line be drawn?? I have read a number of articles, some saying the ideal age difference is 14 years, others saying 6 years, still others saying the woman should be older by a few years. It is interesting that many articles state the ideal age difference is just 2 to 3 years, however half of those marriages end up in divorce�
I can only go by my experience over the last 18 years or so dealing with intercultural marriages. I will tell you that a 10 to 15 year age difference is fairly common and normally not problematic in and of itself. Once you start getting to 20 years difference and beyond I think you have to start being a bit more careful and thoughtful of the age difference and the possible problems, in the short term and the long term. This is especially true if she is in her early 20's. People tend to change quite a bit from their 20's to their late 20'and into their 30's. Ultimately it comes down to the two people involved, what is the chemistry between them, what do they have in common, their likes, dislikes, desires, life goals and plans. These things need to be in balance and the two individuals need to be in sync for any relationship, no less one with a larger than "normal" age difference, to be successful.
Which tour should I choose? We offer a large variety of choices, probably to many, so yes, you do have some choices to make. You should first start with the site and the profiles. Start looking at the profiles and do some very general searches, you will begin to start seeing where the women whom you are most interested in are coming from. That should help you at least narrow it down to a certain region say the Ukraine as opposed to Costa Rica. Then you need to narrow it down to the city you want to visit, again this should be based primarily on the profiles but also the timing may play a role since you may not be able to attend a certain tour due to your time constraints. You may also have other choices depending on the city. All of our Latin and Asian tours are just one city (normally two socials in that city), but some of our Ukrainian tours are more than one city and some are just one city so that is another factor you may want to consider when choosing the right tour for you. Also, you have the option for many of the tours to extend the time you stay or even add a totally new tour to your existing tour (dual tour option). You can always call us at (602) 553-8178 ext 207 and speak with a tour counselor who will assist you in choosing the right tour that fits your needs.